Look, you can love your favorite show, and you can be pissed that TPTB are canceling it, and you can even try your damnedest to bring it back. But even if your favoritest show stars a bunch of women, it doesn't make it a feminist issue.

Especially when it's a show like The Women's Murder Club, which has some very problematic gender issues. The "Cagney and Lacey" of our time? Please. More like the "Charlie's Angels."

Man, I hate that show.

(Not that I don't think the fans should do everything in their power to save it...just because I don't like it doesn't mean that other people don't, and they should totally try their best to save their favorite show. Just don't act like you're fighting the patriarchy doing it.)

I might be a tich oversensitive after the last few weeks in SPN-land, but I am so so tired of being in fandoms primarily made up women that just, well, don't seem to like women all that much. And I'm not talking about just disliking a character--to each her own, right?--but the insults and double standards just make me want to pull my hair out. Since last night's SGA episode, I've been treated to more of the same, and I am done.

( Cut for a little rant. Also, spoilers through SGA 4.16, heavy on 'Trio'. )

Also, I really need some SGA icons. *goes off in search*

I read an amazing blog post about rape today, one that sums up what I believe so much more eloquently and rationally than I can. I've been trying to communicate exactly what this article states to my younger brother for quite some time. For some reason, we've been talking off and on about sexual assault these last few weeks...not that I'm complaining, because I think it's good for him, especially as he's been operating under some WRONG WRONG WRONG beliefs about what is and is not rape.

My brother (and my mother, strangely enough) believe that rape is forcing sex after a person has said no. I'm trying to communicate that rape is forcing sex before the person says yes. Which is a fundamental difference, that unfortunately for them, sounds more like semantics. And I haven't done a very good job of communicating, because this is one of those subjects where five minutes into it, I lose the ability to form coherent sentences.

Anyway, terrific post, so I thought I'd link to it. It's an older post, so some of you might have seen it before.

Consent: Possibly the easiest concept in the history of the world.

My favorite quote...

Consent is defined according to the quality and quantity of assent, not the quality and quantity of dissent.

Almost every argument about rape can be boiled down to this one sentence, because almost every argument about rape centers on what the victim did or didn’t do. “She didn’t kick him, she didn’t bite him, she didn’t dress modestly, she didn’t scream for help, she didn’t break his nose…” Rape apologists throw up requirements, levels and types of dissent that the woman would have had to live up to in order to really have been raped. It’s interesting, however, that they’re always able to come up with something.

No, rape is about something that the rapist does. Or rather, what he doesn’t do, in that he doesn’t rely on the woman’s assent.

So I've been thinking a lot about abortion, lately. I've been trying to nail down what it is I think about it, why I think that way, and whether what I believe is ethical or not.

When I'm wrestling with an issue, the first person I go to is my mother, but I can't in this case because she is very, very pro-life. She's mellowed a lot (in high school and college, she went to anti-abortion protests--not the kind at abortion clinics, though--and was very much involved in the Southern California anti-feminism/anti-abortion movement), but she still thinks that abortion is wrong, unless the health of the mother is at risk. She doesn't get angry when we talk, just really emotional, so because I know that it hurts her, I don't bring up the fact that I'm pro-choice, and we pretty much avoid the whole abortion discussion. Without a doubt, she is much more upset by the fact that I'm pro-choice than by the fact that I'm a lesbian.

However, she doesn't piss me off like 95% of other anti-abortion people, because she's not a fucking hypocrite about it. She's pro birth control. She doesn't value the fertilized egg above actual people. She's very much a pacifist, and against the death penalty (strangely, positions that the anti-abortion people tend to disagree with). She also doesn't think that you stop caring once the baby is born...she belives that it's very important to provide medical care, financial help, education, food, good public housing, and childcare. And she practices what she preaches...during my growing up years, we've had three pregnant women and young mothers stay with us until they got back on their feet, and loads of other people for shorter times. She watches the kids of her single friends for free, when she's able to, and even when we were pretty poor, she made sure that we gave part of our food to families that were in need, and we always adopted a family for Christmas (almost always a single mom who didn't have the money to do Christmas for her kids). She still does that. So while disagree with my mom, I'm not angry with her (like I am with a lot of other anti-abortion folks).

Okay, so I can't talk to my mom.

I also got in a huge fight with a girl at school when we started talking about abortion. I brought up some of my reservations, and immediately got hit with a lot of anger. And we weren't really all that far apart, philosophically! But she started questioning my feminism, and the conversation started to veer into bumper sticker quips. It was clearly pointless to continue, as she was angry and I was defensive, so we stopped. And this mirrors the experience I've found in a lot of feminist communities, online and off. It's like, you're either an anti-abortion misogynist, or you have to believe that all abortion is fine, no middle ground.

I dunno, I'd just really like to talk about my concerns respectfully with someone, without getting into a fight or hurting feelings. At least for me, there's only so much I can process in my own head...I really need to talk to someone (or several someones) and get feedback before I can understand. But I guess abortion is one of those issues that people can't help getting emotional about.

Sigh.

Dear People of the World:

If you don't know why a law saying rape victims should be stoned to death if they don't scream for help is a Very Bad Thing, you are either an incredible idiot or an incredible misogynist. I shouldn't have to explain why it's a bad law. I shouldn't have to explain why it's an anti-woman law. I shouldn't have to explain why believing that law was given directly from god makes me not like your god all that much, and makes me worried that you seem to like your god an awful lot.

I do not give a fuck what your religion is. If you think that, at any point in history, it was okay for your god to demand that a rape victim be stoned to death because she didn't scream, just kill yourself, because I don't want to live on the same planet as you.

I'm done explaining. Some things should be self-evident.

(For the interested, this was sparked by a discussion on christianity. Y'know, it makes me sad that the most disturbing, sickening, rage-inducing attitudes on rape I've encountered have been with "Christians".)

I wasn't sure what to write about today. After all, most people who read my LJ are feminists already. But today is as good a day as any to to talk about an issue that's been bugging me recently.

The way I see it, being a feminist is one of the bare requirements for being a decent human being. I don't necessarily mean that you need to be a women's rights activist (although, that's nice), but the textbook definition of feminism--believing that women should have social, political, and economic equality--that's just basic common sense and decency.

Guys who are feminists don't get kudos in my book. I'm not going to fawn over someone for not being sexist, just like I would never fawn over someone for not being racist. You don't get a cookie for thinking I'm a human being. Being a male feminist does not make you a wonderful person in and of itself, it means that you aren't a waste of air.

I'm continually annoyed by self-proclaimed male feminists on and off the internet who can't get it through their heads that not everything is about them. The Patriarchy Hurts Men Too is an accurate cliche, but while it's a handy tool for showing self-absorbed guys why maybe this feminism thing is kinda important, if it is the be-all of your feminist expression, you're an asshole. Also, holding all the right, liberal, feminist views doesn't give you a free pass. If you really are a feminist, you'll listen when someone accuses you of sexism, because chances are, you're probably being sexist (even if you aren't intending to). Getting defensive and screaming that, hey, you're not sexist, you think woman should be allowed to vote and all, accomplishes nothing except, once again, making everything about YOU.

I'm tired of having to hold a guy's hand and walk him through Feminism 101. Read a fucking book. How do you think most of us girls got a handle on basic feminist theory? If you've got the idea that you're condescending to take a look a this woman thing for OUR benefit, and therefore we should cater to you and thank for bothering to consider us girls actual people...fuck you. Go hang out a Promise Keepers convention, because at least they're honest about it.

And that's my contribution. :p

So.

I'm sure most people have seen this by now. South Dakota has banned abortions, even when the health of the mother is at stake. It's a blatantly political move to get another abortion case in front of the Supreme Court.

I donated this morning to the South Dakota Planned Parenthood. Not a lot, as I'm a starving student, but what I could. Here's the deal: if you donate money as well (doesn't have to be to PP, but must go to help women in South Dakota who will be affected by this), I will write a fic for you, pairing, fandom, and situation of your choice. For those of you who aren't into fanfic (or those whose fandom I don't write for) I hope you'll consider donating anyway. ;) Just drop me a comment in this post and let me know what you want. This is entirely on the honor system.

( Fandoms I Can Write For )

Thanks so much, everyone!

(x-posted to feminist_fandom)

So this utter bitch in my dorm and I got in a very heated discussion about abortion. Fine, whatever, I grew up around pro-life people so I can usually keep cool and debate rationally. However, she says, "Now, I think abortions okay, if, like, the mom was, like, raped or something? Cus then it's not her fault? Or if, you know, the baby is retarded or something."

"Wait, wait," I interjected, because she had totally strayed from the party line and I was confused. "You mean, if the fetus tests positive for a disorder, you think it's okay to abort it?"

She gave me this look like I was really, really dumb. "Well, yeah. It's, like, totally selfish to bring a baby into the world that's just going to suffer its whole life. And you can check for Down's Syndrome and other diseases all early before it starts to feel pain. I get mad when women want to keep going just because they want a baby, even though it means their kid is going to be disabled."

HISSS!

So I had to actually leave the room, because I was so close to reaching across and throttling her. Yeah, because it's not like disabled can enjoy their lives or anything. NOOOOO, of course not, it's all misery and pain from the womb on. Thanks, hon, so glad to know my cousin should have been aborted. So glad to know my aunt's just a selfish whore for carrying him to term.

I'm pro-choice. All the way. Which means, I support a woman's choice to abort, and I support a woman's choice to keep the baby. And the sad thing is, the dumb bint couldn't understand why it made me so angry, because I was "pro-choice" and all.

GAH. THE STUPID BURNS.

So.

I spent several hours playing DDR today. Very cool. I especially liked the looks on the girl's faces when I didn't suck. Yes, Virginia, fat people can kick ass at DDR. Heh. (And no, visitor_2_earth, I didn't just play "Butterfly" the whole time).

I did some reading beyond Animorphs. I read Drawing Blood for the third time. It's such a trashy book, but I love it. I also read Female Chauvinist Pigs, and thought it was a surprisingly good book. ( Cut for long, rather rambly thoughts on the book. )

Am now hooked on Project Runway. I don't know why. I just love it. It makes me miss Jesse, though. :(

On the Ax/Marco front...I have mostly everything that I'm going to use for the article (though I do want to read your insights, felinephoenix, if you have them available). I'm now frantically hunting for Ax/Marco fanfiction. I have found two that I feel comfortable reccing...so if you have ANY recs, PLEASE let me know! Right now I have Adventures in Clubbing and Boys Will Be Boys, both by Doctor Strangelove. I would love to link to yours, felinephoenix, but your website is down? Do you have alternate links? Thanks so much!!